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Articles


1.
AQUIRING SEXUAL KNOWLEDGE
2.
CONDOM FACTS FOR ALL SEXUALLY ACTIVE ADULTS
3.
MEN, WOMEN AND EJACULATION: A QUICK GUIDE
4.
GETTING THE SEX THAT YOU WANT: A QUICK GUIDE FOR LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS
5.
BECOMING ORGASMIC: A WOMAN'S GUIDE
6.
GUIDE TO SEX TOYS
7.
GUIDE TO SEX TOYS FOR MEN
8.
SEX AND RELIGION IN AFRICA
9 .
FRIENDSHIP AND SEXUAL GENEROSITY: THE SAVIOUR OF RELATIONSHIPS
10. SEXUAL LIBERATION: THE PATH TO FULFILLMENT
11.
SEXUAL WISDOM: A GUIDE TO RECLAIMING OUR AFRICAN PRIDE
12. 
SHORT CUTS TO SEXUAL FULFILLMENT
13.
DOES SIZE REALLY MATTER?
14.
SEX PRODUCTS AND YOU: UNDERSTANDING THE ZEE VIRTUAL MEDIA AGENDA.



 

 





 

1. ACQUIRING SEXUAL KNOWLEDGE

IS SEX EDUCATION IMPORTANT?

The answer to this question might seem obvious, but our general response to sex speaks otherwise. We all agree that education is important. Of course. When you turn on the radio, you always here about the need to use a condom and be accepting of people living with HIV and AIDS. Sure. But talk is cheap. When it comes to action, we are generally not supportive of sex education in this country. It is true. Why do I say so? Precisely because I experience it everyday. Before I started writing for Sun Newspaper and Sensation magazine, I made huge efforts to have these articles published in other papers as well. I contacted Genevieve Magazine, Punch Newspaper and This Day Newspaper. They all turned it down. I was shocked. I never asked them to pay me. They cannot even afford to pay me. All I wanted was to get these articles published so that lots of people can have access to vital information. My articles are not vulgar. They are educational. I gave them samples of my essays and adverts. They read them, enjoyed them but still turned down my proposals while saying that ‘they do not feature such things in their publication’. Can you believe that? Such senseless arrogance…What exactly are ‘such things’? They can see people dying of AIDS everyday. They sound as if they really care when the cameras are on them. But when it comes right down to making strong and palpable commitments towards the eradication of sexual illiteracy in this country, they chicken out. What a mess. What are we so afraid of? Everybody has sex. Human beings are sexual beings. Big deal!

My generation will do things differently. Our parents told us lies about sex and they thought they were helping us. But they weren’t. They never taught us a single thing about sex. They never even talked about it. From broken marriages of today to sexual diseases and abuse of sorts, we are the ones suffering from the education parents never gave. That’s fantastic isn’t it? Now the media is doing the same thing. The move to ensure that nobody gets educated is systematically being fostered by the media. But we must resist this sickening attitude. We will scream from the roof tops if we have to but sex education is a must. I thank God for Sun Newspaper and Sensation magazine for embracing this educational feature with open arms.

WHAT DOES SEX EDUCATION ENTAIL?

The acquisition of vital sexual information is a very simple process. The books and films that you need are out there. We have some of them at www.zeevirtualmedia.com. Also, each time you buy from us, your order is accompanied by free newsletters on a variety of sexual subjects written by sex educators with doctorate degrees. These news letters are expensive to print but I don’t regret it. We NEED them. Books and movies on every imaginable sexual subject have been written by concerned professionals and entertainers overseas. That is what I love about the west. They take nothing for granted and they value the lives of their people. If Americans were experiencing the kind of AIDS epidemic witnessed in Africa today, by now they would have declared a state of emergency in their country. Their government would be going from house to house giving away boxes of condoms. Infact by now, their government would have put out a law saying that it is illegal and criminal to have sex without a condom. Yes they will. That is how seriously they take human life over there. But here, if you mention the word sex, people will look at you as if you are some kind of devilish human being. Yet, these same people are all having sex.

THE BENEFITS OF SEX EDUCATION

When you educate your self through books and films, there is hardly any kind of sexual problem or challenge that you cannot face. Whether you are worried about early ejaculation or the fact that you have never had an orgasm before, there are books written just for that. If it is sex positions that you want to learn about, there are tons of books on that as well. We have them at www.zeevirtualmeida.com. We have books on relationships, married sex, sex positions, sex games, organ enlargement, sex toys, how to be a better lover, safe sex, sexual ailments, sex therapy etc. The choice is yours. You should see my own personal library. I just love knowledge. It is an amazing asset. With sex education, we can:

1- Protect ourselves from all kinds of diseases.
2- Acquire information that will aid our sexual satisfaction and the success of our marriages and relationships.
3- Understand our bodies better and get to know what works for us and how to achieve it.
4- Prolong sex for mutual benefit.
5- Keep sex interesting for as long as we live.
6- Be better lovers.
7- Understand different sexual dysfunctions, illnesses and their solutions.

And so on. There is no end to what we can gain from educating ourselves. We have nothing to loose by acquiring relevant sexual information. When I started Zee Virtual media in February this year, people told me that nobody will buy books because Nigerians don’t read which I knew already. We prefer television to reading. But I believed that the more we talk about the importance of education, people will gradually begin to build up their libraries and it is happening already. I believe it will continue and gradually become a cultural movement for our benefit.


Uche Edochie
MD
Zee Virtual Media

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2. CONDOM FACTS FOR ALL SEXUALLY ACTIVE ADULTS

Of all adult sex products used all over the world, condoms are the most common and certainly the most popular. As a contraceptive, condoms prevent millions of pregnancies and for disease control; they also shield users from contacting a wide range of sexually transmitted diseases. In essence therefore, condoms are unarguably very beneficial to all humans. However, very little is known about condoms in general which explains why we will always argue about their success rate especially regarding disease prevention. Part of the reason for this is that whereas the general public is perpetually urged to use condoms always, through radio, television and print public announcements, there has been no proper education of the masses about condoms. As a people, we know very little about them and this has contributed to wide spread fears and rumours about condom capabilities.

So, in line with our commitment to sex education, we at Zee Virtual Media are publishing for the first time comprehensive condom facts that all sexually active adults should know. The first question on everybody’s mind would be, ‘Can the HIV virus pass through a condom? The answer to that is yes and no. It all depends on the type of condom that you are using. This answer must be very confusing because we hear different things about condom safety everyday. In this article, I will be clearing up that confusion once and for all. The first thing we all need to know about condoms are the different types that there are and by different types, I am not talking about brands of condoms such as Durex, Lifestyles etc. I am referring to the materials these condoms are made of. Essentially there are three kinds of condoms in circulation. They are:

A. Latex Condoms
B. Skin Condoms
C. Polyurethane Condoms

LATEX CONDOMS
In order to know which one is which, always look at the packet of the condom itself. The condom type will be written on it. Here is a brief on latex condoms. They are the most popular condoms around and if you are a regular condom user (as you should be), chances are that you have used latex condoms before. Research shows that latex condoms are arguably the safest of these different types because of the size of the pores found in the latex material itself. These studies also show that the pores in question are smaller than the sperm cell and the HIV virus thereby making it a formidable option in the prevention of unwanted pregnancies, HIV and other sexually transmitted deceases. If you use good quality latex condoms properly and consistently, you have nothing to worry about.

SKIN CONDOMS
Skin condoms are yet another type of condoms made from a natural pouch in lamb intestines. They are more expensive than latex condoms and are designed for people who are allergic to latex, spermicide or the lubricant that latex condoms are made of. The membranes of skin condoms are especially strong and research shows that they are the most sensitive and arguably the most enjoyable of them all. Unfortunately when screened under the microscope, skin condoms were found out to have larger pores than the average latex condoms. This is bad news because whereas the pores of skin condoms are half the size of sperm cells and therefore are effective in preventing pregnancies, these pores are still wider than the viruses and some bacteria responsible for a wide range of sexually transmitted diseases. To cut a long story short, skin condoms maybe good for people who are allergic to latex condoms and they certainly help prevent unwanted pregnancies, but they are not designed for disease prevention. Scientific study shows that the HIV, herpes and hepatitis-B viruses can pass through skin condoms. Now you understand why there is a general statement that condoms are not 100% disease proof. It is because of these different materials of which they are made of. The average poll that lumps all these condom types together will tell you that condoms in general have a 12% failure rate. The reality of the matter is that good latex condoms have a 2% failure rate, making them very reliable indeed. All condoms sold at www.zeevirtualmedia.com are latex condoms.

POLYURETHANE CONDOMS
This condom is the most recent type to enter the market and an example of it is the Avanti condom brand. They are made of a synthetic material and they are generally shorter than other condoms in length. Although the manufacturers of this product claim that they are very effective for pregnancy and decease prevention, comprehensive test results are still underway. Only time and comprehensive independent research will tell. Avanti condoms are expensive and some users say that they feel like wearing nothing at all which is a plus, considering that condoms in general reduce sexual enjoyment.

APPROPRIATE CONDOM USE
Generally speaking, condoms do break once in a long while, making them a cause for concern. Research reveals that the higher quality condoms are less likely to break during use. A lot of the time, condoms break as a result of inappropriate use. To avoid such accidents, here are steps you must follow:

a. Open an individual packet of condom when you are ready to use it and do so gently to avoid tearing the content. Always check for expiring dates before use. If a condom is older than three years, don’t use it. If a condom feels brittle, sticky or looks discoloured, throw it away. It is spoilt.
b. Always unroll a condom down the entire length of the penis (uncircumcised men should first pull back their foreskins).
c. Do not wear a condom inside out. Always study it carefully to see the direction in which the condom unrolls before wearing. Better still, read and follow the directions contained therein if you get confused.
d. The tip of a condom is normally shaped to contain semen after ejaculation. When you wear your condoms, always leave this little space at the end to enable the semen collect when you ejaculate.
e. Right after ejaculation, grab the condom firmly at the ringed base and pull it off before loosing your erection in order to avoid spillage.
f. Store your condoms in a cool, dry place. Heat, light and air pollution can all hasten deterioration.
g. For additional condom lubrication that will make penetration easier and painless, always use water based lubricants which you can get at www.zeevirtualmedia.com. Petroleum jelly and mineral oil products rapidly weaken latex. Avoid those.
h. It is generally said that condoms should be used for vaginal intercourse but it shouldn’t stop there. For effective decease prevention, condoms should be used to for oral, rectal and vaginal intercourse as this shields the body from contact with infected body fluids coming from any of these areas.

If a condom breaks during usage, both partners should quickly wash their genitals with soap and water. Urinating immediately may also help to avoid infections. If the breakage occurs after ejaculation, apply a spermicide or see a pharmacist to prescribe appropriate contraceptive pills for you. There are birth control pills that will prevent pregnancy when used within 72 hours of intercourse.

In conclusion, latex condoms are the safest of all condoms and if used consistently and correctly, pregnancies and a wide range of sexually transmitted deceases can be effectively prevented. I hope you find this article useful.

Uche Edochie
MD
Zee Virtual Media

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3. Men, Women and Ejaculation: A Quick Guide

Male and female ejaculation is one issue that is very central to human sexuality. This is because the implications are many. Take male ejaculation for instance. If a man ejaculates, he is considered virile. If he ejaculates early, he is seen as unskilled and useless as far as pleasuring women is concerned. Infact, early ejaculation is considered an illness in a lot of circles, which is wrong and we will be addressing this issue. And then of course, there is the myth of female ejaculation. I say ‘myth’ because a lot of people have never witnessed it, so there is a lot of speculation and curiosity about female ejaculation. Just in case you are wondering if women do ejaculate, yes they do. Female ejaculate feels and looks like urine but it is not. It usually gushes- a bit like an eruption and it is such a beautiful thing to watch. Some women ejaculate fluid, while a lot of others do not. If you don’t ejaculate, that’s fine. There is nothing wrong with you.

Male ejaculation however is our focus today and is of greater consequence than female ejaculation of course. If a man is not ejaculating, babies cannot be made. The issue of ejaculation is a huge source of concern for most men, because a man’s ability to delay his ejaculation is his source of sexual pride- besides the size of his penis and his ability to bring a woman to climax. And it doesn’t end there. Women rate a man’s level of sexual usefulness based on his ability to prolong his erection, amongst other skills. But the major issue concerning the penis is what is widely referred to as ‘premature ejaculation’, which is a silly term if you understand that the essential idea of intercourse is procreation. Have you ever timed dogs or chickens when they are mating? If so, do they stay up to two minutes? Of course not! Why? Because the male specie is built to ejaculate rapidly shortly after penetration, just to ensure that nothing stands in the way of this natural process of procreation. That is the whole idea. To ensure that the woman you are having sex with does not change her mind and decide to go and cook or do something else just before you climax, your ejaculation is designed to be rapid. It is not an illness. Infact, the only reason time is a factor during sex is because it takes women a long time to get aroused and an even longer time to have an orgasm. Otherwise, who will be talking about premature ejaculation? If the average woman could achieve sexual satisfaction and orgasm within five minutes, who would care about rapid male ejaculation? ‘Premature Ejaculation’ is an incorrect term that ridicules the average ejaculatory period of most men. If as we all know, it takes the average man four minutes of deep vaginal penetration to climax, mathematically, how early does one have to ejaculate to be classified as a premature ejaculator? You see my point? We can talk about the need to ‘delay ejaculation’ for the benefit of women. But when you use the term ‘curing premature ejaculation’, you make perfectly healthy people feel as if they are suffering from an illness which is not true.

So the issue here is the need to prolong sex for the benefit of women, which is a whole new subject altogether. Man’s ability to delay his ejaculation hardly comes naturally. It requires skill and the use of certain products. Do not be fooled by porn stars that have onscreen sex for long periods of time. Most of them use erection enhancers and besides, the directors of these movies do different takes and make onscreen sex appear longer! In reality, an average healthy guy does not take that long to climax. So please, we need to start changing the way we perceive and talk about ejaculation.

There are several ways one can delay his ejaculation and prolong his erection. Below are the very common ones.

Sex Positions: There are several sex positions that prevent deep penetration and aid longer erections. You can learn these from the appropriate books and films available at www.zeevirtualmedia.com .

Cock Rings: A cock ring is a sex toy that prevents the penis from going limp after ejaculation. It is cheap, easy to use and very effective.

Outercourse: Outercourse is a term referring to any form of sexual play that is not vaginal intercourse. As you know, the vagina is easily the most exciting place that man can put his penis, which is part of the reason men ejaculate quickly. However, there is oral sex, hand jobs and other forms of love making that do not involve vaginal intercourse. You can start with these for several minutes before vaginal penetration. That way, your love making will appear longer.

Desensitizing Creams and Sprays: These are very common and this is how they work. Most of them contain a chemical component called benzocaine which numbs and desensitizes the penis, thereby delaying ejaculation. One of the most popular of these products is a cream called Love Stuff All Night Long Erection Cream. It is our best selling erection enhancer at www.zeevirtualmedia.com . There is also a balm called Kamasutra Pleasure Balm which gives erections and delays ejaculation as well.

Aphrodisiacs: Generally speaking, an aphrodisiac is any substance that puts you in the mood for sex, while giving the needed erection. Ask for a product called Dickalisious Penis Arousal Gel. It helps you get it up, even if you are not in the mood for sex. The product Herbal Viva is also very popular and helps restore stamina and low libido.

Always remember that sex is about fun, play and rekindling desire for one another. It is a celebration of your love and attraction to each other and a source of emotional connection and sensual therapy. That is what Marvin Gaye was talking about when he sang ‘Sexual Healing’. Focus on all of these. Prolonging ejaculation is okay, but don’t obsess about it. When round one ends, there is always round two which usually lasts longer, and you’ve got your sex toys to fall back on anyway.

Uche Edochie
MD
Zee Virtual Media

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4. GETTING THE SEX THAT YOU WANT: A QUICK GUIDE FOR LONG TERM   
    RELATIONSHIPS


 If you have ever been in a long term relationship, married or not, you will agree that sex gets progressively difficult. When you find yourself in such a situation, the right steps have to be taken, otherwise your relationship and family (if you have one) will be destroyed by this. Always remember this; most people in long term relationships are having it rough. Very rough. You don’t want to be them, at all.

Statistics show that the two major causes of divorces are money and sex. Money comes first and sex second. I am not a financial expert so if you are having money problems, you might want to talk to the likes of Aliko Dangote. As for sex, well, that’s what I am here for. Let us begin by understanding why long term sexual satisfaction is so difficult. Generally speaking, modern life as we know it today is very demanding, not just in Africa but everywhere else. The long tedious hours spent at work, the money that never seems to be enough, the lack of electricity, fuel etc. just weigh you down, not to talk of coming home to a house full of screaming kids. All these challenges just attack and steal the life you once had or hoped for. The other big killers of our sex lives are change and familiarity with our lovers. As the years pass bye, we get burdened with work and all kinds of responsibilities. Under such conditions, we loose focus, stop taking care of ourselves and cease to be exciting. It is at times like this that our husbands or wives accuse us of becoming different people, and they are right. People change.

The big question however is what to do when this happenss. WE ADAPT AND CHANGE STRATEGY. That is what we do. If you do not remember anything else discussed in this article, please remember the word ADAPTATION. That is the key. Adapt or you are finished. You cannot always expect what worked for you five years ago to work now. Here is an example. A lot of women complain about not being in the mood for sex nowadays because of all the things happening in their lives. While this is understandable and makes perfect sense, there is still a problem here. Your sexual relationship will definitely suffer if you are hardly in the mood, so you need to do something about it. CHANGE YOUR STRATEGY.

How do we change strategy? Here are a few suggestions. There is the option of making a schedule for sex. Every week, we make the difficult decision of having to wake up, bathe, dress up and feed the kids and ourselves and then proceed to drop them off at school, and continue all the way to our work place. What stops us from working sex into our weekly schedules? It can be done and people are doing it. Surely, routine sex can’t be that tough! Hello! Sex is fun, remember? I know that some of you will argue that routine sex is not all that enjoyable. That is how it seems at first, but I can assure you that if every couple had routine sex a minimum of three times a week, our relationships will shed half the baggage it carries with it. If people had sex regularly, even if it was for five minutes a session, they wouldn’t feel so frustrated, neglected and unloved. Besides, scheduling sex is similar to scheduling dinner in a restaurant or scheduling going to the cinema on a weekend. It is exciting and it is something you look forward to. Fixing a time for something creates anticipation and excitement which puts you in the mood when the time comes. It is not difficult. It just requires commitment.

There are other ways of getting in the mood as well, but we will talk about just two of them in brief. One is through Movies and the other through Aphrodisiacs. As controversial as this might sound, there is no bigger turn-on than watching other people having sex. Movies are what I like to call ‘visual aphrodisiacs’. They put you in the mood instantly which is amazing. Oral aphrodisiacs such as Spanish fly and Herbal Viva also put you in the mood, wherever and whenever you want. But you must check with your doctor to confirm that you are healthy enough to take these supplements.

Now that we’ve seen the possibilities that adaptation holds, let us use this knowledge to tackle a few common complaints.

Complaint number one: I get back from work and I am exhausted. I just manage to eat, shower and fall asleep. I don’t have time for sex.

Uche says: You can do two things:

A. Schedule sex in the mornings before you run off to work. You can do it in the shower. B. Screw like rabbits on the weekends. You can do it all day. Any questions?

Complaint number two: My husband complains that ever since we had the kids, I never make out time for him anymore. But he should know that the children need all our attention. I can’t help it. My children are my major focus right now.

Uche says: Is that so? Some day, you just might wake up without a husband! And if he is still with you as we speak, it is very likely that he is sleeping with someone else! How do you like that? Ladies please hear this: Your children cannot be your entire life. That is not a balanced life. There is more to your life than just your kids. Your life is about you, your kids, your husband, your work, your passion in life, your natal family, your God, society and so on. Human lives are multi-dimensional and every aspect is important and needs our attention. There is something we fail to realize about kids. Even though our children are very much a part of our lives, they are also PASSING THROUGH our lives. Children are born and then they grow up and take off to settle down elsewhere. If you make your kids your entire life, not only will this destroy your marriage, but when the kids grow up and leave, you will feel an emptiness that is worse than anything you have ever felt before. You had a life before the kids came along. Invest in your marriage and you will have a life after the kids have gone. Trust me; you do not want to grow old alone.

Let us be brutally honest here. We inconvenience ourselves all the time just to make our children happy. When a kid wakes up by 2:00am in the morning and cries for food, Mummy always gives up her precious sleep to go and fix the kid something to eat. If mummy made one fifth of this sacrifice when daddy needs some loving, you will be amazed at the results. It can be done. People have tried it and it worked! Give him a five minute hand job if you are not in the mood for sex. How difficult is that? A quick blow job wouldn’t hurt either. What will it take from you? You don’t have to be in the mood to do any of these things. Just pretend as if you are washing dishes or something and in a few minutes, daddy will cum and you can go back to whatever it is you were doing previously. We need to get creative. Great relationships just fall apart for nothing. It doesn’t make sense.

Complaint number three: My husband is only nice when he wants to have sex. I find it difficult to have sex with him when I am feeling offended and neglected. I just cannot bring myself to be with him sexually under such circumstances.

Uche Says: In fairness to all people, particularly women, the human libido is tied to the emotions. Guys don’t be nice only when you want some booty. It is not sexy, it is not fair and it will not work. When people are feeling bad because of the way you treat them, they cannot have sex with you, no matter how they try. Be nice all the time. If you cannot be nice, fake it! But if you really care about someone, be a source of joy to them, not misery.

Complaint number four: I am always the one to initiate sex in my relationship. My wife hardly does so. Infact, if I am not requesting for sex, we wouldn’t even have a sex life in the first place. I am beginning to doubt if my wife is still sexually attracted to me. I don’t think she loves me.


Uche Says: This is such a common problem and it is not about attraction or love. Have you ever wondered why women are referred to as the opposite sex? Women are complete opposites of men in every way. Based on this fact, if men want sex very often, it is only natural that women will not want it that often. That is just human nature. The testosterone levels in men just make them perpetually horny and no woman can match that. This explains why you keep on putting pressure to make her change but not much happens. Men should focus more on getting laid in the first place and forget about who initiates it. If you get it when you request it, that’s not an altogether bad deal. Women are never going to be everything you want them to be, and neither can you be everything they want you to be. But ladies, please try to initiate things too. I know it is difficult but you’ve got it in you. I believe in you. Such efforts mean a lot to your partners. It helps with their self esteem and the success of your relationships depends on it.

This is also one of the major reasons sex toys were invented. Sex toys for men are vagina- like toys which enable men get off as often as the need arises without having to fight with their girls all the time or cheat on them. At www.zeevirtualmedia.com , you can purchase a variety of these toys, movies and lubricants that go with them. They have helped my own marriage immensely.

Uche Edochie
MD/CEO
ZEE Virtual Media

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5. Becoming Orgasmic: A Woman’s Guide

Amongst all human sexual desires, there is nothing more elusive than the female orgasm. It is one sexual experience that is desired by all women but experienced by a few. The female orgasm is the peak of sexual euphoria. It is the male equivalent of climaxing during intercourse. It is not common, and for the lucky few who get to experience it, it takes some time to get there- an average of twenty minutes to be precise. This is why sex experts conclude that it takes more than mere vaginal penetration to bring a woman to orgasm, and they are absolutely right. How long does the average man last anyway?

So, how can an orgasm be achieved, you might wonder? Is there a short cut? Why are orgasms so difficult? Can non-orgasmic women become orgasmic? How does a woman know when she has had an orgasm? Is an orgasm an absolute necessity in sexual intercourse? These are important questions that constitute today’s topic. We will start with the last question and move backwards. An orgasm is not an absolute necessity during sexual intercourse because a lot of women are able to enjoy sex without it. Experts will tell you that when it comes to the female sexual experience, it is the journey that counts, not necessarily the destination, and a lot of women will agree. From a male point of view however, if I begin a journey, I will like to get to my destination because…. well, let us just say that I might run out of fuel, amongst other things. It must be tiring to just drive around non stop without getting to a destination. This is not to say that women should be dissatisfied with the sex they are getting if an orgasm is not attached to it. I am just saying that if it is possible for women to reach orgasms when they have intercourse or masturbate, why settle for less? Today, I will be giving tips that will enable you get there.

The next question will be, ‘How does a woman know when she has had an orgasm?’ At some point during sexual stimulation, whether through intercourse, self pleasuring or a combination of both, a woman’s body gets very tense. A lot of women quiver uncontrollably when in this state, which can last anywhere from one to twenty minutes. This state of sexual ecstasy is known as hyper tonicity and most women never get beyond it, infact, western studies do indicate that only about thirty five percent of women do have orgasms. I must remind you however, that these numbers refer specifically to western women. In Africa where our women are less liberated, the number of orgasmic women is even lower. Anyway, for the few women who are able to cross this stage of hyper tonicity into the orgasmic phase, the experience has been described as ‘a rush of warm feelings’, ‘waves of ecstasy’ and an ‘explosion of pleasure’ amongst other things. When in this state, the pelvic muscles contract intensely and some women do ejaculate fluid. This is known as ‘squirting’ in the adult dictionary, and an even lesser number of orgasmic women do squirt.

Why are orgasms so difficult? Can non orgasmic women become orgasmic? With practice and the right products, non orgasmic women can become orgasmic. As for the second question, following the theory of opposites, the female orgasm is difficult to reach because male ejaculation is easy. That is the simplest way I can put it. Men and women are opposites.

Is there a short cut to orgasms? I am happy to announce that the answer to this is, ‘absolutely!’ With a combination of a vibrator, a clitoral stimulating gel and the right frame of mind, you can achieve multiple orgasms when you desire it. You can purchase these vibrators and gels at www.zeevirtualmedia.com. As for the right frame of mind, this can be induced with the right kind of adult movie which you can also purchase at www.zeevirtualmedia.com . We’ve got a stunning variety of films for all kinds of people.

How can this orgasm be achieved? Below is a comprehensive path to its achievement:

1- Liberation: Sexual liberation is the key to sexual enjoyment. If like most African women you were raised to believe that sex is bad and dirty, then it is only normal if you struggle with your sexual expression. I will do a full article on sexual liberation later on. However, for the record, sex is neither bad nor dirty.
2- State Of Mind: It may seem as if ‘sexual liberation’ and a person’s ‘state of mind’ is the same thing, but not quite. In order to enjoy sex, it helps to prepare your mind by thinking about sex, looking forward to it and fantasizing about it. Women do not get in the mood easily, quite unlike men. So sexual anticipation and fantasy helps put you in the right receptive and expressive mood.
3- Self Stimulation: This is also known as masturbation and EVERYBODY engages in some form of masturbation or the other, which is okay. The one thing we must all understand about self stimulation is that it is the most reliable way that a woman can truly find out what pleases her. A lot of women complain that they do not enjoy sex. I advice that you explore your own body and find out what you like and where your erogenous zones are. That way you can tell your partner specifically what pleases you. Our women tend to lie back and expect pleasure to come their way. No. Nothing good comes easy. If you want something, you have to find out what it is and how to achieve it. Then you can request for it from your partner. Bear in mind that because men ejaculate quickly, you cannot expect to orgasm in five minutes as well. When your partner climaxes before you orgasm, there is no problem. The sex does not have to end there. You can continue your sexual journey through self stimulation, either with a vibrator or with your fingers till you reach orgasm. Alternatively, you can have your partner stimulate you with his hands, tongue or vibrator till you climax as well.
4- Partner: It definitely helps to have a partner who is gifted in the bedroom. All men are not born equal as far as sexual knowledge is concerned. However, sexual skill is something everybody can learn. It is about practice and learning from the right sources. We have books and films to teach you at www.zeevirtualmedia.com.
5- Products: Like I have mentioned earlier, there are several products designed to enable women enjoy sex to the point of orgasms such as vibrators, clitoral stimulating gels, movies, books and aphrodisiacs. We’ve got them all at www.zeevirtualmedia.com.

So, the above is a quick guide to becoming orgasmic. Remember also that during intercourse or self stimulation, direct stimulation of the CLITORIS gives the best results.

Uche Edochie
MD
Zee Virtual Media

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6. GUIDE TO SEX TOYS

Definition

A sex toy is any object made specifically for the purpose of sexual stimulation. Ordinarily, humans engage in all manner of sexual stimulation before and during intercourse, usually with the hands, tongue, lips and feet. Sex toys were invented to enable us do better what we are doing already. For example, sexual stimulation with a vibrator is a whole lot better than using your bare hands. That’s how come sex toys are so useful and essential. These toys are very relevant in a lot of ways, especially regarding their ability to enable us achieve sexual release frequently, easily and whenever the need arises, regardless of whether our partner is in the mood or not. That way, your sexual satisfaction is not completely dependent on a partner’s disposition or ability. They are also effective additions to your sexual routines with your partner because they add variety and aid sexual efficiency in your love making.

Sex Toy Types

There are two broad categories of toys out there. There are toys for men and there are toys for women. There are also those toys that can be used by both men and women such as the anal toys and vibrating bullets/ eggs.

Toys For Women

The largest categories of toys in production are actually the ones made for women. One would think that because men are the hornier sex, there would be more male toys in the market but the opposite is the case. Toys for women are usually meant for vaginal, clitoral, anal or breast stimulation. The toys for clitoral stimulation are easily the most popular for obvious reasons. The clitoris is that feminine body part that harbors the highest concentration of nerve endings. That’s why it is most responsive to touch.

Vaginal Toys

Dildos: A dildo is any phallic shaped toy intended for sexual stimulation. They are usually made of hard substances and some of them vibrate while others don’t. The plastic, silicone and jelly dildos are usually the more affordable and common ones whereas the glass versions are more fashionable and expensive.

Dongs: Very often, people are unable to tell the difference between dildo’s and dongs. The tendency is to call them whatever name comes to mind, but there is a basic difference. Dongs are realistic looking and are soft like real penises. Dildos are hard and do not look realistic. There are also different types and sizes of dongs out there, all of which are made of a substance called cyber skin. Cyber skin is a synthetic substance that looks and feels like real skin. It is commonly used for the manufacture of dongs and masturbators. Like dildos, there are vibrating and non vibrating dongs. Vibrating dongs are usually better than the non vibrating variety because they are multi purpose toys. If you turn them on, they vibrate and if you switch them off, they become non vibrating toys. The whole idea behind the vibrations is to aid effective clitoral stimulation.

Clitoral Stimulators: Clitoral stimulators are non penetrative but vibrating toys intended for the stimulation of the clitoris. There are different types of clitoral stimulators. Some are oval shaped; some are shaped like a tongue or the lips while others come as underwear! Imagine putting on underwear that vibrates and stimulates you to orgasm while you are sleeping, watching a movie, cooking or working in the office! It’s amazing!

Anal Toys: Anal toys are usually slimmer than regular dildos and dongs, and some of them are angled to honor rectal contours. Their popularity is growing as well and many men and women are able to buy and incorporate them into their sexual routines. Provided the issue of hygiene is well addressed, anal stimulation is just as good as any.

Guidelines For Buying Vibrators

Size: If you are buying a toy for the first time, it is usually best that you start with an average sized toy. A seven inch toy would be perfect for you. As time goes on, you can go for bigger and longer ones. The three, four and five inch toys are also great and more affordable, but they are best for clitoral stimulation only. You wouldn’t want a toy that might accidentally slip in and disappear into your vagina. Bringing it out might be difficult. To avoid such accidents, smaller toys are usually built with a wide and flared base so they can’t fall in. Be on the look out for such.

Speed: Some vibrating toys have single speeds while others have multiple speeds. Multiple speed toys are best because they enable you regulate and choose what speed fits your mood.

Intended Use: Another guiding factor for choosing which toy to buy is how you intend to use it. If you are buying a toy that is meant for you alone (with no sexual partner in sight), it is best to go for toys that do all the work. I am talking about toys that penetrate the vagina and stimulate the clitoris at the same time. An example of a toy that does this is the Rabbit series. They are built with the standard shaft and an extension that is shaped like rabbit ears which are strictly dedicated to clitoral stimulation. Their tips also rotate for internal G spot stimulation. Rabbit vibrators are simply the best in the world. Another good toy for solo action is any rubber-like penis shaped toy with a bulging base for clitoral stimulation. That way, when you insert it into the vagina, you can also twist the base forward to hug and stimulate the clitoral hood. Such toys usually have their vibrating mechanisms located at the base rather than the middle of the shaft, unlike the regular vibrators. However, if you have a sexual partner and you are buying a toy to add to your sexual routine, then the regular phallic shaped toy is okay. With any of this, you can place the vibrator on the clitoris while your partner is inside you. It is an effective combination that enables women enjoy sex to the point of multiple orgasms and we highly recommend you get one.

Function: The functions of a vibrator also determine the choices you make. All vibrators essentially vibrate. However, some others have extra features such as in and out thrusting, spinning, multi speed vibration and rotation, dedicated clitoral stimulation, battery operated, rechargeable, internet enabled, iPod compatible, cell phone compatible and so on. Always make the necessary enquiries before choosing which one to buy.


Uche Edochie
MD/CEO
Zee Virtual Media
www.zeevirtualmedia.com
Email: zeevirtualmedia@yahoo.com

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7. GUIDE TO SEX TOYS FOR MEN

Definition

A SEX TOY is any object made specifically for the purpose of sexual stimulation. There are different types of toys out there with different functions. Some of them enable you maintain a strong erection even after ejaculation (Cock Rings) while others enable you self stimulate to ejaculation (masturbators and love dolls).

Purpose

Explaining the usefulness of sex toys is a bit strange because it is quite obvious. However, for the purpose of our sex education, we will discuss every aspect of our subject in detail. If you are an adult, chances are that you are already aware of the gap in male and female sexual appetites. Men want sex often quite unlike women, and the reason for this is simple. Men harbor large amounts of a chemical substance in the body known as testosterone; a substance that makes them perpetually randy and more sexually enthusiastic than women. To imagine that all this while, society made us think that men are just wayward and sexually irresponsible; whereas the reason for man’s sexual eagerness has always been biological.

Man’s greatest sexual wish has always been the ability to have sex whenever he wants it. Sadly, this is one wish that will never come to be because man will never be able to get his female partner to match his sexual appetite. He has tried and failed and in the process, what does he do? He cheats with other women, lies about it, gets caught and ruins his relationship and family- for those with families. And sometimes, man brings home HIV and other diseases. Even men who have not cheated physically have cheated emotionally with other women. I am sure you do, but just incase you find the term confusing, let me break it down for you. Do you remember what it feels like to be simultaneously attracted to two or more women, even though you have a wife or girlfriend? Deep within you, the desire to be with these other women is really strong but due to ‘technical difficulties’ (the wife or girlfriend), you are unable to get physical with them. But in your imagination, you have made crazy love to these other women a million times- in the shower, in an elevator, in the office after work, in a deserted island or a hotel etc. Now that is emotional cheating and men and women participate in it equally.

Life is not easy, as you all know. Being a man and having to play by the rules is even more difficult. There were days when I felt like cutting off my own penis! The damn thing just annoys me sometimes. Imagine having to wake up some mornings with an erection and you are not even thinking about sex! It is as if your penis has a mind of its own. You wake up and you want to go to work, but your penis wants to stay back and have sex. It’s crazy! A few years ago, an angry ant once climbed up my trousers, bit me on my penis and gave me a monstrous erection for hours! My wife kept laughing at me because I was stuck in the bedroom and couldn’t go outside. I didn’t want to scare anybody. Nobody wants to see a guy with a hard on walking the streets! It is terrifying! But if I were a woman, I could walk around and nobody will know what I am going through.

Anyway, let us bring the focus back to sex toys. To make life a little easier and prevent men from physically cheating on their women and bringing home all manner of diseases, scientists and inventors have been able to come up with different types of sex toys. I don’t know about you, but I love scientists and creative people. Life is easier nowadays, thanks to them. Sex toys help humans and their relationships in the following ways:

A. They save marriages.
B. They relieve sexual tension, frustration and stress whenever the need arises.
C. Male relief from sexual tension makes the world a little safer for women, who ordinarily would be at a greater risk of being harassed, molested and even raped.
D. Sex toys aid sexual release which in turn enable men think clearly and make better decisions. I have found myself in several situations where the temptation to cheat was quite strong and yet I overcame it, simply because I am not sex starved.
E. Provided you are not sharing your toys with other people, sex toys protect you from HIV and AIDS by preventing the indiscriminate sex you would have been having with people of questionable status.

There is no question about it. Sex toys are practical solutions to a life laden with sexual tension and desire. Having acknowledged this, let us examine basic types of sex toys.

Masturbators: Masturbator sleeves are toys designed to enable men relieve themselves of sexual tension. All men masturbate at some point in their lives, if not all the time. Masturbators were invented to enable men do a better job at what they are already doing. Some of these masturbators are built like artificial vaginas, rectums and mouths. They are usually made of soft and artificial flesh-like material called cyber skin. Some of these masturbators come in different sizes and penetrative lengths and most of them are portable. Some of them vibrate as well, thereby giving pleasurable sensations that feel almost as good as the real thing.

LOVE DOLLS

Love dolls are life size female dolls modeled for the purpose of male sexual release. They are usually inflatable with a hand pump and they feature vaginal and other holes in all the right places. Some of them look really realistic with real human hair and some vibrate in all the necessary areas. They are also portable so you can deflate and travel with them.

COCK RINGS

Cock Rings are round and stretchy toys worn on the base of the penis to enhance erections. They prevent blood from rushing back to the body after you have ejaculated, thereby ensuring that you remain hard for an additional twenty to thirty minutes. Within this period, you get to stimulate your female partner so she can climax as well. Cock rings should not be worn for more than thirty minutes to ensure normal blood flow in the body.

PENILE EXTENSIONS

Penile extensions are rubber-like penis-shaped toys worn over the penis for the purposes of prolonging your love making process, lengthening the penis or substituting for a week erection. They are amazing toys especially for older men or for people who have erectile dysfunctions. That way, you are still able to satisfy your lover and retain your self esteem. Even if you have no erectile problems, this toy can be worn after you ejaculate, to prolong love making. Sex does not have to come to an end, the moment you ejaculate.


Uche Edochie
MD/CEO
ZEE Virtual Media
www.zeevirtualmedia.com
08051924159, 01-7735024
email: zeevirtualmedia@yahoo.com

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8. SEX AND RELIGION IN AFRICA

We are going to be talking about sex and religion today. This might seem like a strange topic to you because you are probably thinking that both issues shouldn’t mix, but they are intertwined. Infact, here in Africa, the relationship between sex and religion is about the most significant sexual topic any sex educator can ever engage. Do you know why? Religion is such a big part of our culture and it influences everything else that we do, including sex. To effectively re-orientate the Nigerian public towards better sexual knowledge and practice, one must understand and deal with significant religious issues of profound consequence. Let me tell you a quick story. About three years ago, my wife and I were just your average couple who fought over sex every now and then. I accused her of rationing sex and in turn, she saw me as just another horny goat. And then she came back from church one Sunday and called me to say that she will be more sexually generous from now onwards. The first thing I said was, ‘Who is this woman? You don’t sound like my wife’. And then she explained that their pastor had chastised them and made them understand that they should aspire to satisfy their husbands because it is their religious obligation! Wow! I don’t know about you but whoever that pastor is, I will like to take him out for a drink! All these years, I have been bitching about inadequate sex and she just wasn’t listening. It took a pastor’s opinion to make her accept the obvious.

Religion is undoubtedly a big part of our culture, Infact, the only other cultural practice that can rival religion in Nigeria is probably corruption. I am yet to figure out which of the two is dearest to our hearts, but I do know for sure that Nigerians take religion and corruption very seriously. I don’t know how we manage to combine both some how, we pull it off. Do you find this insulting? Before you get mad, take sometime and think about it. And while you are thinking, I will continue with my writing. As I was saying, religion is such a crucial factor in the understanding of a people’s sexual inclinations, practices and beliefs. Sex education has failed in this country and in Africa as a whole because of our inability to understand and tackle the strong hold that religion has over our sexual knowledge and practices. My guess is that we are all trying to be careful so as not to commit some religious crime by educating ourselves about sex, which is senseless. But I will talk about EVERYTHING that needs to be talked about in due course. No stone will be left unturned. That is the only way we can move forward in our country. We must address our greatest fears and educate ourselves. So, I will break the ice- as always- and you can all hop in if you care to. Brace your selves cause I am not holding back. It is going down.

In any part of the world where poverty is high, the literacy level is low and development is slow, religions thrive. Look at the number of churches in Nigeria for instance. It has become a multi billion naira industry. Religion is man’s instinctive way of engaging an uncertain world, which is not a bad thing. But religion makes it easy and convenient for us to mask our ignorance and illiteracy as well. That is where I have a problem. This is precisely why whenever African’s encounter anything they do not understand, they brand it ‘demonic’. Of course. It is easy to label something demonic because by doing so, you do not have to task your brain to understand it. Other cultures are busy researching all kinds of phenomena and trying their utmost best to know the world we live in and find answers to a myriad of questions. They travel to the moon and the ends of the earth to learn more about our universe and in the process, they come up with all kinds of ground breaking discoveries in science and technology. And what do we Africans do? We sit back with our cell phones and enjoy the fruits of others people’s labor while waiting for the next new thing that we can brand ‘demonic’. How convenient…Am I pissing you off some more? I hope so, because I am not here to entertain you. Truth is painful to hear but it must be said. Not very long ago, we used to kill twins in this country courtesy of our religious philosophy at the time. A lot of innocent infantile blood was shed in this country as a result of our illiteracy. Can you picture the brutality of helpless babies being put to death? It all happened. By the time western education came, we realized that there is a biological explanation for twins after all. Alas, twin babies were neither a curse nor a bad omen and the devil had nothing to do with their birth. So guess what? Every woman I know today wants to have twins. Interesting…And then there is the issue of female genital mutilation popularly known as female circumcision. Believe it or not, it is quite common in our part of the world. Imagine taking away from a woman her ability to ever enjoy sex. Can you believe that this strange practice is motivated by some moral principle, which states that women ought to be circumcised to ensure that they are not promiscuous?! Yeah… infact, I have an idea of my own. Why don’t we amputate the arms of all politicians before they are sworn into office, to ensure that they don’t steel money? That should make sense by the same token, right? Ridiculous. So this is what typically happens to a circumcised woman. She grows up sexually frustrated and bitter. The ones that get married have absolutely no interest in sex because:

a- They have been traumatized.
b- They are incapable of sexual stimulation and enjoyment so what is the point?

Before too long then, the husbands get mad, start cheating on their wives and eventually drive them away. That is how family units crumble, all because of the senseless practice of female circumcision.

Do you now understand where I am coming from? Look, I am a Christian and a catholic to be precise. I go to church every now and then. I am not upset with religion. I just dread the human element that has made it such a dangerous thing. Truth be told, religious interpretation and translation will always fall prey to human error. Look at global terrorism for instance. Religion when left to the interpretation of the wrong people is as dangerous as can be. I am sure the bizarre story of Reverend King and the humans he set ablaze- in the name of some cleansing religious ritual- is still fresh on our minds. Can you believe that story? There are so many like him everywhere.

There is a lot of ignorance and misinformation about human sexuality in our country and the most alarming thing about this is that educated people are also responsible for it. That’s where the problem is. There is a prevalent tendency to associate sex with the negative which just baffles me. Sometimes, when I tell people that I own a business that retails adult sex products, they give me this look that says, ‘Are you serious? Why that sort of business?’ This same people forget or pretend to forget that sex products are the very things that they have been using all these years. Condoms, lubricants, books, erection enhancers, organ enlargers, wet wipes, scented candles, massage lotions etc are all sex products! What a bunch of morons! All around us, people are dying of aids and somebody is actually wondering why my organization retails condoms? Is that a trick question or is such a person trying to score points by acting dumb? You know, I am a fairly reasonable guy. I have great tolerance for genuine stupidity. But when smart and educated people are faking stupidity, I can’t stand it.

Sex when seen through a religious lens- the way a lot of us see it- is nothing but scandalous, which is sad. Anything sex related makes most people uncomfortable, although these same people are having sex. But they will tell you that sex is demonic. That is how come you hear people use expressions like ‘the spirit of sex’ or ‘the demon of sex’. I believe in God like a lot of you do and I also accept that there is a devil. Of course. Every thing in life has an opposite. But the sexual act is nothing but a biological necessity. That is what it has always been and that is precisely how I see it.
Every human being is born with sexual desire. If we did not harbor sexual desire in us, our species will become extinct. Just like the dinosaurs of old, we will cease to exist. Sexual desire guarantees that humans will be procreating which is a fantastic thing because the last time I checked, if we are not having sex, babies cannot be made. How then can sex be a bad thing, if it is the very act that brought you and me into the world? By saying that sex is bad, you are suggesting that your very existence is illegitimate. Does that make sense? So why do we feel so guilty about having, thinking or talking about sex? The day I stop thinking about sex is the day my wife should panic because it can only mean one thing. Something is seriously wrong.

A lot of us are living with all kinds of sexual problems while dying in silence. We cannot reach for help. Why! You have every right to better your sex life and protect yourself! NOBODY should tell you otherwise! When we were young, our parents taught us that sex is a bad thing and they were wrong! Such nonsense! This sort of misinformation has become the bedrock of our wobbling sexual foundation! This is where the whole problem started for us. I have been researching this and trying so desperately to understand why people are dying in record numbers in our country due to AIDS, and yet, you cannot even find books on sex education being sold anywhere! Not even in Numetro stores at the Palms! Can you believe it! Deep within us, we actually believe it is improper for us to educate ourselves about sex! Otherwise, how can you explain the absence of educational material in this part of the world? I go on the internet and I see tons of educational books written by western scholars, but you will not find those here, neither will you find any written by our own people!

Well, it is not difficult to understand why things are the way they are. It largely boils down to the religious strong hold, worsened further by lack of education and enlightenment. The church does not encourage the use of condoms, does it?! Of course they don’t because they are scared, even though most reverend fathers are sexually active! I know some of them and I know their girl friends and children! They won’t tell you to protect yourselves with condoms because they don’t want to be seen as ‘encouraging people to have sex’ which leaves us with an automatic death sentence in this day of HIV and AIDS! If there is one thing we know for sure, it is that human beings will have sex! You cannot stop it, and why would anybody want to stop it anyway? Human beings are sexual beings, just like all living things are sexual beings. All living things are having sex and humans cannot be an exception! God! I am so mad… This doesn’t make sense. For over thirty years of my life, I have been going to church. Not once have I heard the words ‘sex education’ uttered by a priest. Not once. Something is terribly wrong here. The church and similar religious organizations must step up and accept responsibility for the spread of HIV and AIDS in Africa. They share the blame. Until they do that, they have no credibility in my eyes.

In conclusion, sex is not a bad thing. It cannot be. But like all human acts, there are rules. That’s all. Follow the rules and you are fine. Take driving for instance. There is nothing wrong with driving if you are old enough and knowledgeable. But you cannot drink and drive. You should not drive if you are feeling ill. These are just a couple of driving rules amongst many others. Sex is like that too. There are rules guiding sexual intercourse but sex in itself is not a bad thing. Don’t have sex with minors. Don’t have sex if you are under age. Don’t sleep with people’s wives or husbands. Don’t sleep with your blood brother or sister. Sex between adults must be consensual. Don’t molest or rape people. Protect yourself with a condom always. These are some of the basic sexual rules. Follow these rules and you are fine. There is nothing to feel guilty about. People send me emails asking if oral sex and anal sex are sinful and bad. Of course not. Oral sex is sex and so is anal sex. In the course of this article, we have been able to establish that sex is not bad. How then can oral sex be bad? It is sex and there are different kinds of sexual activity, games and positions. Many Christians use the bible as a complete guide to sexual understanding and practice, which is downright ridiculous! Such people are quick to point out that this one is not in the bible and that one is not in the bible. The bible is not a sex manual! It is a book on Christian spirituality! Is the recipe for egwusi soup in the bible? No. Why? Because the bible is not a cook book! Why then would anybody expect to find clitoral stimulants and sex positions in the bible? If you are hoping to someday find a chapter in the bible where Saint Paul will be giving tips on oral sex and vibrators before you are convinced of their legitimacy, you must be crazy!

We go to school in this country. It is time we used our brains to distinguish between the biological and the spiritual. Thank you.

Uche Edochie, MD, Zee Virtual Media

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9.  FRIENDSHIP AND SEXUAL GENEROSITY: THE SAVIOUR OF RELATIONSHIPS

When I write about sex, it is obviously for the benefit of our relationships and families. But at the back of my mind, I am aware that it will take more than sex products to fix a crumbling relationship. Sure. When you hear therapists and marriage councilors talk about spicing up your relationships, they are assuming- just like I do- that every other necessary structure that will enable this spicing is already in place. But in the real world, we know that is not always the case. A lot more couples will be buying sex products if their friendships are great. But as you know, long term relationships are characterized by couples who barely tolerate each other. People who have been in such relationships describe it as living under the same roof with a total stranger. You share the same space but mentally, you are in different worlds. Sadly, that is very common and not at all unusual. It is a human condition.

It is easy to sell you products. I know products well and I know what works and what doesn’t. But fixing your relationship is something that will require all of your own effort- and perhaps a little prompting from us or any other relationship councilor. That is the subject of today’s article. We will be talking about the conditions that need to be in place for great long term sex and romance to flourish. Friendship comes first. If you are always fighting with your partner, it is difficult to be sexual with one another. If for instance, a woman feels maltreated or neglected in a relationship, she is not going to be in the mood for sex- at least not with her official lover. In the same vein, if a man is feeling overly criticized and unappreciated, he cannot be in a loving mood. There is something I try to practice with my wife. If she pisses me off, I let her know. I am never the kind of person to carry a grudge. It poisons me. If I am not happy about something, I make it known and the very process of voicing it lifts half of the burden; the whole idea being to resolve the conflict immediately. Because I am aware of the benefits of speaking out, I try to initiate a dialogue aimed at conflict resolution whenever I notice that she is moody. It might take a little while for her to talk but eventually, she voices her cause of misery and if I am wrong, I try to apologize. Surely, it is not every issue in a relationship that can be easily resolved. My point however is that if you both make an effort to talk about grievances, your successes will be greater than your failures.

I am not a relationship guru, but you don’t have to be one in order to succeed in a relationship. You just need to pay attention and learn to read others. Aspire to be a source of joy to the people in your life and not misery. Admit wrong doing if you are guilty and apologize. If you are upset about anything, speak up. When I was a kid, my mother used to say, ‘never let the sun set on your anger’. She has no idea how this has helped me in my life. I have come to realize that couples who don’t talk and resolve conflicts immediately, usually feud to a point where they have no idea what the cause of the problem is anymore. If you are observant, you will notice that most of our parents have this problem. They always had these useless and endless arguments over nothing which just made every other person around miserable. That is what happens when you let grievances pile up. So, aspire to maintain your friendship and fondness for one another, and every thing else will fall in place. Being friends means a lot of things but it also means acknowledging the fact that you are different people and therefore, you will not always agree on everything and that’s okay. You don’t have to agree on everything. You are not twins. Sometimes, allow things to be done your partner’s way. A relationship is not a competition and if you are the type that takes pride in always being right, you are creating a major problem for your relationship. Always remember that for you to always be right, your partner must always be wrong. Trust me, being wrong all the time is a terrible feeling for anybody and a major cause of discord. Even if you are the smartest genius to ever work the earth, you should be smart enough to know that no human being can be wrong all the time and that sometimes, you need to make your partner feel right. That way, he or she will be reassured that they are also contributing positively to your relationship. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone who is always right. Nobody.

Now, let us shift focus to the second part of today’s subject which is sexual generosity. Sexual generosity is a major relationship builder. If couples were devoted to each other’s sexual happiness, the world will be a much better place and fewer relationships will be failing. Deliberately depriving your spouse or partner of sex or the joy of exploration will do nothing but ruin your relationship, and a lot of people are stuck in ruined relationships. If your partner makes a request or wants to try something new, think about it before rejecting the idea. Ask yourself questions like, ‘If I try it, what do I have to loose? If I try it, will it hurt me or my relationship? What if I try it and it turns out to be the most amazing thing yet? You never know. Generally speaking, women are the least adventurous when it comes to trying new things, which creates lots of problems in relationships. By adventurous, I am not talking about having sex in a church or on a railway track. But for crying out loud, don’t expect that you can have an exciting and mutually satisfying relationship by doing the same things over and over again.

In conclusion, sexual generosity just implies mutual commitment towards each other’s sexual happiness. There is something people don’t often realize. When your partner suggests that you try something new- maybe a new sexual position, a sex toy or whatever- and you are willing, deep within him or her, the feeling of being loved and cared for multiplies. The significance of your willingness to try that new thing goes beyond your sense of adventure. More than anything else, it is an indication of your commitment to the relationship. It is a sign that you care about your partner. By being willing, you make your partner feel validated and wanted. You make them feel like they can trust you with their most private selves. Always remember that it is not easy for anybody to request something new. Deep within each person is a fear of rejection and being judged. Be sensitive when you respond to a partner’s request and avoid criticism. Your reactions have huge psychological effects on your partner. Most of all, always remember that the success of your relationship lies in your willingness to periodically reinvent your sex life. When an invitation to do something different comes up, give a try at least once, if it does not endanger your life or relationship. If you give it your best and you still do not enjoy it, your partner will still appreciate you for trying. That is all that is required from anybody in a relationship. The willingness to try.

Uche Edochie
MD, zee virtual media

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10. Sexual Liberation: The Path to Fulfillment

Every sexually active adult would love to have a great sex life. That includes all the hypocrites out there too who pretend not to be interested in sex. You know who you are and I am not mad at you. Sometimes, I get irritated by people like you because I don’t know what your problem is, but I am not mad at you. Wait a minute… I think I might know what your problem is. Some of you are afraid of being judged by other people. Your fear is that people might think you are loose or depraved if you show interest in sex publicly. You also worry that if people get to know you and all the freaky things you love to do, perhaps they will loose respect for you. In addition to all of this, a part of you thinks that society might try to hurt you or make life difficult for you, if you are open about your sexuality and sexual interests. You will be surprised to know that people don’t care about what you do. Surely, they will gossip about you if they get to know anything at all about your sexual interests. Of course. People always need something to gossip about. It is human nature. But they don’t care about what you do. They are more worried about real issues that affect their own lives in real ways such as lack of electricity, jobs, financial security etc.

So, if you are to break free and begin to explore and enjoy your sexuality, nothing should hold you back. Don’t look for approval from the outside because it is not going to come. I know it requires a certain amount of courage to embrace who you are and what you feel. But it does not require extraordinary courage. It just requires a first step in the right direction and everything else will follow. It was like that for all the people who never really tried oral sex or a sex toy for instance. The world did not come to an end when they made the choice to expand their practices. On the contrary, they are glad they tried.

Africans will be having more fun if they were sexually liberated. We all desire more exciting sex lives and partners and it is possible to have that. But first, we need to understand where we are, the genesis of our inhibitions and how to move forward. When I talk to men, most of what I hear is that Nigerian women are unexciting and unadventurous in the bedroom. They just lie there and expect to be entertained and sexed to the point of orgasm without making any contribution. When I talk to Nigerian women on the other hand, they say that Nigerian men are neither romantic nor expressive. They complain that our men hardly make love to them the right way. They want more. Well, there is some truth to all of these observations. I doubt if it is as bad as we make it seem, but I know exactly what you are all talking about.

I am sure you have all observed the ease and freedom with which westerners express their love for one another. We all want that in our relationships too. But the freedom to effectively express one’s self does not come naturally to a particular race. It is a cultural thing and western society has evolved a lot more than ours. Westerners raise their children to be expressive without being shy. Whenever I am with my white friends, I am always amazed at the boldness of their kids and the ease with which they socialize and communicate with adults. All these things affect humans when they eventually grow up. Our upbringing on the other hand is very different. Our parents were always quick to yell, ‘Don’t do this! Don’t say that! Don’t touch this! Don’t watch that!’ And so on. Your style of upbringing and the society in which you were brought up matter a lot. That is the truth. So, don’t be in a hurry to criticize your partners. The issues here are bigger than them.

But the tendency to compare is inevitable. We know for instance that if a white girl is in love with you, she expresses it in the most flamboyant way possible. She will be all over you all the time. She will hug, kiss and smooch you in public. You must both hold hands wherever you go. White girls scream a lot when making love and they are willing to do almost anything you want to try! We African boys just love that in a woman! But guess what, if our women suddenly start kissing and smooching us in public, most of us will find that embarrassing! So, what’s happening here? I thought that was what we wanted? Do you know why this is so? We all have that problem of expression! Expression is a two way thing! If a girl is all over you, will you appreciate it or call her a slut? Will we really embrace that boldness or conclude that our girls are just showing off in public? You see, it is more complicated than you think. We are all inhibited. We all need liberation. Sexual inhibition is not peculiar to a particular gender. Surely, one can effectively argue that inhibition is more amongst women. But society is tougher on women so why wouldn’t they naturally tense up? It is not easy for them and it is not even that easy for you. You might think that you are such a pimp but if your wife or girlfriend for instance suddenly shows up in your office with the intention of screwing you right there on your office table, you will most likely panic and begin to sweat! Yet you call her unadventurous! Sexual liberation must become a societal movement in order for it to succeed.

But, we need to take the first step in breaking out of our inhibitions. It is human actions that form societal practices. So, how can we accomplish this? BY DARING TO EXPRESS OURSELVES! Ages ago, I used to be a shy person too. So what happened to me? How did I become the founder of the digital empire Zee Virtual Media? BY DARING TO BE EXPRESSIVE! That’s it. You have got to reinvent your self in order to become the person you want to be. I wish I could recommend some specific book on sexual liberation but we have run out of those for now. However we have got a variety of books and videos that encourage sexual expression in different ways. You can get some of those. There is nothing as encouraging as reading or watching other people do that thing that you once thought you could not do. Also remember to be supportive of your partners when they are making an effort to be expressive. Considering our background and all the inhibitions that surrounded us when we were growing up, this can’t be easy for anybody. So be patient and supportive. Avoid being critical. Criticism does not inspire people. It just lowers their self esteem. Remember that. Find positive and loving ways to make a request to your partner. If you want to try something new for the very first time, don’t bring it up during sex. Talk about it before sex so that your partner will have time to think about it and mentally prepare themselves to give it a try. That is how come new suggestions during sex don’t play out very well. They are too sudden and they come out as criticism. Always be sensitive and supportive of one another. Bye.

Uche Edochie
MD
Zee Virtual Media

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11. SEXUAL WISDOM: A GUIDE TO RECLAIMING OUR AFRICAN PRIDE

When I started ZEE Virtual Media in February 2007, I set out to achieve a lot of things. Growing the business into a successful house-hold name and giving adults access to the products that they need, constitute the main objective. But perhaps more significantly was the burning desire to engage the business as a medium for changing our collective sexual habits and the perception of Africans by outsiders. Just like you, I get really pissed off each time I watch CNN or BBC only to have negative images of Africans staring back at me. I hate it and still do. Not because the information carried on television about Africans is fake, but because only the negative things about us end up on their news. You never see anything positive about us on TV and there is so much to Africa and Nigeria than just the bad stuff. The media is a powerful thing. It is bizarre to imagine that television is able to shape the minds of people who have no real or actual contact with Africa, but it does… unfortunately.

What does it mean to be African in today’s world? Do you ever stop to think of other people’s interpretation of your blackness or Africa ness? I am not talking about the fact that Nigerians are generally disliked by the rest of the world. I am referring to the global attitude and perception of Africa and its people. You see, to the world outside our continent, to be black is to be a source of worry and heartache to ‘others’. ‘African’ is another term for decadence, hopelessness, primitive, diseased, problematic, confusion, war torn and helplessness, amongst other things. The African race is generally perceived as the one drawing the rest of the human race behind. We are seen as a burden to the world. Forgive me if I sound different today, but it is hard not to get a little political in this particular article, because everything is related. But this is a sex column, so let me put things in the required sexual perspective for you. AFRICA IS SEEN AS THE FACE OF HIV AND AIDS. I am sure most of you know this already and trust me, that is not good. It has far reaching consequences. It is one thing to hold our heads high wherever we go, but it is another thing to have others treat us as equals.

So, how does this make you feel? Angry? Demoralized? Inspired? Or perhaps all of the above? You know what I have come to realize? The bottom line for us Africans is not really how we feel about all of this, but what we are prepared to do in order to change the aspects of these perceptions that are true. Surely, the number of HIV and AIDS cases in our part of the world is a lot more than the ones recorded in other continents. Perhaps we can blame it on lack of education, ignorance and irresponsibility. Perhaps. But it is more than that. As most of you probably know by now, it is possible to get infected with this virus even when you do not sleep around. For instance, if you are married, chances are that you do not use a condom when having sex with your husband or wife, right? This just means that you are just as vulnerable as any other person. If your partner is cheating on you without protecting him or herself all the time, you are at a very high risk of getting infected, especially for the women. And trust me; most of us will be cheated on in our life time. That is a fact. So, do you see where I am going with this? When I write about sex toys and all that, it is not all about sexual satisfaction. It is about sexual discipline, education and security as well. Do you remember the incident in Libya some months ago where hundreds of innocent children where infected with HIV by careless doctors and nurses, who were not paying attention to hygiene? The world is a scary place. It is going to take A WHOLE LOT more than just condoms to get rid of HIV and AIDS.

Let us briefly go back to the perception of Africans. I got so pissed off about the image of the African that I made sex education my priority in life. That is how I started writing these articles and this is just the beginning. I hate to talk about my future plans but, what the hell, I might as well tell you. I will write books and make documentaries that will revolutionize sex education in this country. It must be done. Our parents were too embarrassed to do it, and millions have died as a result. In a country where people are so embarrassed about sex, somebody has to talk about it. Not talking about it has cost us a lot. Surely, the message, ‘AIDS KILLS. USE A CONDOM’, does not even begin to scratch the surface in terms of sex education. Sex education means getting to know EVERYTHING you can about sex. The more you know the better for you. Comprehensive sex education involves a total life style make over. Talk is cheap. We must practice what we profess. Sex education is about knowledge of human sexuality, but more importantly, it is about VALUE and RESPECT for the human body. If you RESPECT your fellow human being, you will not sexually assault, molest or harass them in any way. If you VALUE your life, you will protect yourself always, and I am not just talking about the use of condoms. Based on what we have learnt from the Libyan incident, it takes more than just condoms to control this disease. We have to pay attention to everything else. Everything. The needles we use, our tooth brushes, tooth picks etc. Infact, we have to be careful around blood or anything capable of drawing blood. Some years ago, I was buying catfish from a market when the lady selling it accidentally cut her self with her knife and bled all over the fish. Guess what I did? I turned around and left. I love fish, but I will not have the blood of a person that I do not know her HIV status spilled on my fish. WE JUST HAVE TO BE CAREFUL AND HYGIENIC IN ALL WE DO.

Below are excerpts of information published in the ZEE Virtual Media catalogue, intended to aid sexual discipline and responsibility:

* If you are a sexually active adult and you own only three items in your entire life, a box of condoms should be one of them. Don’t be caught without protection.

* Be mindful of having oral sex with strangers whom you do not know their HIV status. If you have got the tiniest cut or bruise in your mouth in such a situation, you are at risk of an infection.

* If during foreplay with a woman, she suddenly changes her mind for whatever reason, please respect her decision and back off. NO means NO. Give her some space while she figures out exactly what she wants. The same goes for men.

* Never engage in sexual activity with persons below eighteen years of age, even if they want you to.

* Children are a lot smarter than we are willing to admit. Do not give birth to them and send them into the world without educating them appropriately about human sexuality.

* ZEE Virtual Media is committed to a dignified and responsible sale of sex products to adults 18years and above. Please use the products you buy from us responsibly.

* At Zee Virtual Media, we encourage safe sex, sexual exploration within individual boundaries, togetherness and excitement among couples, family planning and sex education for both young and old.

It will require a huge collective effort to battle HIV and AIDS and change the image of the African. But with perseverance, it can be achieved. Be dedicated and be safe in all you do.

Uche Edochie
MD
Zee Virtual Media

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12. SHORT CUTS TO SEXUAL FULFILLMENT

Every now and then, I try to sit back and analyze our most important sexual needs. The idea behind these analyses is of course to enable me identify relevant subjects when writing these articles. Each time I do this analysis, it immediately dawns on me that they are many…our sexual needs are too many. It is impossible to tell you everything you need to know about sex in just one article. So, we will take it one subject at a time- as I normally do- until I finish writing my first book. Today, we will be examining short cuts to sexual happiness, satisfaction and ultimately fulfillment.

General speaking, the idea of short cuts to anything is discouraged by society. Part of the reason for this is that it is widely believed that anything that comes easily cannot be very good or beneficial and that it will have pitfalls too. Well, that is true for a lot of things…but not for everything. When for instance my best friend and I are headed to the palms in Lekki to go and have a good time (usually on weekends), and we suddenly realize that heavy traffic jam has paralyzed movement- as it does many a time- it usually feels great when my friend figures out a short cut that will bring us there on time. This typically means maneuvering through some crazy routes with untarred roads, but Obi always figures out a way to get us to our favorite joint, in spite of the insane traffic. He has lived on the island all his life so he knows every short cut. So, today I am going to give you tips on short cuts to sexual satisfaction as well. We will begin with the basics.

Getting in the Mood

When we were young, getting in the mood was never a problem because as teenagers, we were at our sexual peaks. We were all stuck with midnight hard-ons that usually led to wet dreams, all because of some neighborhood girl we were ‘dying for’ back in the day. Do you remember? Back then (even though we were legally prohibited from sexual activity of any kind) there was no such thing as having difficulties getting in the mood because we were always in the mood. Infact, the difficult part of life as a horny teenager was getting out of the mood. And then time passes by, you mature, get into the university, graduate, get a job, get married, roll out a bunch of kids and get burdened with life and responsibilities. Amidst all of this, some of us lose our libidos as well. This is such a common problem….very common.

If you have difficulties getting in mood for sex occasionally, it does not necessarily mean that something serious is wrong with you. Stress, fatigue, alcohol, bad diet and lack of exercise are major contributors to the loss of libido- both for men and women. In order to regain your libido the hard way, you must change your present circumstances which may include cutting down on alcohol intake or quitting it entirely, exercising, getting adequate rest, living a less hectic life and eating healthier foods that are high in fruits/vegetables and low on sugar. While the above is advisable and recommended, there are also additional remedies that give quicker results. One of them is aphrodisiacs. Not just any aphrodisiac but a herbal supplement with the appropriate nutritional support that blends naturally into your system. A very good example of such an aphrodisiac is Adam’s Desire for men. This is a doctor recommended herbal aphrodisiac that restores your libido, prolongs intercourse, stamina, energy and even fertility. Ask for it at www.zeevirtualmedia.com. Always remember to consult your doctor before taking aphrodisiacs. If you are hypertensive, diabetic or suffering from some kind of heart problem, aphrodisiacs are not safe for you. Infact, sex itself might not even be a good idea under some of these circumstances.
Another short cut for getting in the mood is through adult movies. A lot of people consider it controversial but adult movies are essentially visual aphrodisiacs. They do the same thing that drugs and creams do but in a different way. Nothing excites like watching other people having sex. It is true. There are folks who cannot take a pill to get in the mood because of a health condition of theirs, but they feel more comfortable watching a movie and getting in the mood by doing so. Oral aphrodisiacs and movies are all effective remedies when there is a loss of sexual interest or libido. It all comes down to what works for you. There are also stronger prescription drugs that help put you in the mood such as Viagra, Levitra and Cialis. But these are prescription drugs that only medical doctors should recommend. As you know by now, Zee Virtual Media is not a pharmacy and I am not a medical doctor. So, we don’t write prescriptions, we don’t diagnose illnesses and we do not sell drugs. If you have a sexual condition that you feel requires treatment with drugs, please go and see your doctor. It is up to him to make such diagnoses and recommendations.

For the women, there are effective aphrodisiacs as well such as the Spanish fly and certain herbal teas which put you in the mood when you want. And then there are also the non oral aphrodisiacs for women. They are called clitoral stimulants and they come in the form of gels and lubricants which enable women enjoy sex to the point of orgasm. Locally, people around here call them sex sweeteners, which is such a bush name. Ask for The G Spot cream, Feminine Arousal Gel or Tasty Twist Orgasm Enhancer at www.zeevirtualmedia.com. These are all great and safe aphrodisiacs for women that guarantee sexual enjoyment and satisfaction.

The Mega Male Enhancing Serum, our best selling penis enlarger at Zee Virtual Media is also an erection enhancer for men. While using this product, you will notice that after you ejaculate, you are still hard and ready for more sexual activity. WOMEN LOVE THAT. When they are upset after men ejaculate, it is mainly because they know that your penis is going to become soft afterwards and that will be the end of sex for that particular moment. But the Mega Male Enhancing Serum, Adam’s Desire and a variety of Cock Rings help you maintain an erection after ejaculation. Another great product that helps prolong ejaculation is a cream called Love Stuff All Night Erection Cream. This is a crazy desensitizer that enables men last longer. It doesn’t give erections. It just delays your ejaculation when you have an erection already. If you are looking for a gel that gives erections, then go for the Dickalicious Penis Arousal Gel. Remember to always call us at Zee Virtual Media to enquire about product functions. My staff will readily answer all of your non medical questions.


SEX TOYS

Perhaps the most popular route to sexual fulfillment is through the use of vibrators, masturbators and similar adult gadgets popularly known as sex toys. These products enable sexually active adults achieve sexual release and relaxation as often as is necessary, with or without a partner. They have been proven to be very effective and disease-free both for you and your relationships.

Uche Edochie
MD
Zee Virtual Media

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13. DOES SIZE REALLY MATTER?


THE TRUTH ABOUT SIZE

For centuries, the debate about size and its consequence has raged all over the world, and we are not just talking about penis size. We are talking about quantity in general, but with specific reference to human sexual organs. Humans will always desire more. That is part of why size will always matter. Who wouldn’t want to live in a bigger house, drive a bigger car and have a bigger bank account than they have now? Size matters primarily because of how it makes us feel. Let me repeat this again: SIZE MATTERS BECAUSE OF HOW IT MAKES US FEEL. The thought of moving into a bigger house tricks the mind into believing that life is going to be dramatically better in that huge mansion. Of course this is not necessarily the case. While big things do have their advantages, they also have disadvantages. Maintenance for instance, is a major disadvantage big things have although this does not apply to the penis. There is no research or theory asserting that a huge penis needs more maintenance. A big penis is definitely heavier when fully erect but that’s about it.

Women love big penises. They may not admit it all the time, but they love it. Do you ever watch females closely when they give blow jobs in adult films? They handle big penises with so much excitement, as if they are trophies or some highly coveted objects- they might as well be. A big penis may not guarantee sexual enjoyment, but it is still preferred by the women. While doing my periodic online research, I do find that women consistently express a preference for thick penises in particular. According to them, they love how a thick penis fills their vaginal void and stimulate them. Well, well…what do we have here? Did you here that? It is the opinion of the women, not mine. Even from my personal experience, my wife always gushes with amazement when we are making out. When she can’t hide it any more, she will just blurt out, ‘This thing is huge’. Well, who wouldn’t be impressed? Daddy is a tripod! If you amputate one of my legs, I can still run a marathon!


WHAT WE LOVE ABOUT SIZE

We love big things. We all do. Bigger may not necessarily be better, but bigger is bigger. Sometimes, that’s all humans care about. Look at female breasts for instance. It is a major object of man’s desire and the bigger they are, the more we lust after them. Why are bigger breasts better? Oh, I can write a thesis on that, but for the sake of space, I will summarise my points. We love big breasts because they fill the bra and give women the kind of curves that appear as if they are on the verge of popping. Big breasts are more fun to play with because of their mobility. The earth’s gravitational pull on them heightens their sexiness and alluring movements. Just look at the way big breasts jiggle and bounce when women are walking or running? What a beauty. Most of all, we love the way big breasts rock back and forth during intercourse. And then there is the touch. The way they feel when you caress and grab them…wow… that feel of feminine softness, delicacy and warmth is to die for. When you grab big boobs, they fill the hands in a manner that is pure voluptuous fun that just sends a surge of excitement down your spine, all the way to Mr. Johnson! Big boobs are eye candy. I can take forever to describe them but I have to stop here. I am beginning to sound like a porn star. Anyway, is there still anybody out there wondering why bigger is better? I rest my case.

ORGAN ENLARGEMENT

Now let us focus on the claim that penis enlargers do not work. To those making this claim, I have a question for you. How many of these enlargers have you used? There are hundreds of penis enlargers in the market. Have you tried all of them? So when you speak with certainty that penis enlargers do not work, what is your argument based on? I have done a lot of research too on enlargement and I have used a few products myself. Based on personal experience, this is what I know for sure. Over eighty percent of the penis enlargers in the market do not work. It is not a secret. Go to the internet and research it for your self. But, is it possible for one to enlarge his penis with a pill or serum? Of course it is. I have used an enlargement serum that works and I still do. It is called Mega Male Enhancing Serum and it is our best selling product at www.zeevirtualmedia.com. It is the only penis enlarger on our shelves besides the penis pump. Why? That is because it is the only product that I have personally confirmed. There is a tendency to think that all business people are heartless, money-hungry sharks who will sell anything at all to make money. At Zee Virtual Media, we don’t import unreliable products and sell to people. The success of Zee Virtual Media has been based on customer satisfaction. If the people who buy from us weren’t happy with their results, they will not keep on buying, and we will not be doing this well. We are very honest about the capability of the products we sell. Based on my research and personal experience, I have also found this to be true about enlargers. They do not give permanent results, and we tell our clients upfront. This just means that in order for you to maintain whatever results you have, you must remain on the product, which is fine by me. I am very comfortable with the one that I am using. It is not a pill. It is a cream. Surgery is the only known procedure that gives permanent results. We tell our clients all these things. Penis pumps do enlarge the penis as well, but the results are temporary as well. There are also certain penis enlargement exercises that work. If you want to know more about those, get the book at www.zeevirtaulmedia.com. The people who tell you that penis enlargement is a scam are right about one thing. Most of the penis enlargers in the market do not work. That is precisely why we have only one tested and trusted brand on our site.

Penis enlargement is very possible and this is how it works. An erection is achieved by the flow of blood to the spongy penile tissues known as the corpus cavernosum and the corpus spongiosum. When these tissues are filled with blood, you have an erection. Effective penis enlargement products therefore work by targeting these penile tissues and increasing their sizes while simultaneously aiding greater blood flow in the body. The bigger this spongy tissue is, the more blood it can hold and consequently, the bigger the erection. Simple as that. Penis enlargement is not a scam. It does work if you are using the right product.

Uche Edochie
MD
Zee Virtual media

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14. SEX PRODUCTS AND YOU: UNDERSTANDING THE ZEE VIRTUAL MEDIA
      AGENDA.



When I opened zeevirtualmedia.com, an outfit that retails a variety of sex related products, I knew that I had a huge task ahead of me- and I am not referring to commercial success. Business has been very good. The greater challenge here is cultural reorientation. I am talking about the daunting task of changing the sexual understanding, habits and routines of this generation and the ones to come.

Now this is not an easy thing to do. It is almost like trying to change a people’s culture. That is not easy. But if we are to progress in our relationships, marriages, families and as a society in general, some things will have to change. Now, there are obstacles that will get in the way of change. That’s for sure. There is the obvious religious barrier for instance. That’s a major one. There is also the barrier of our collective fears and sexual inhibitions- largely as a result of the way we were raised. For a lot of people, picking up the phone to order for a pack of condoms is just terrifying. These and a few others are some of the things that need to change around here if we are to progress in our relationships, our sex education and in our battle against sexually transmitted disease and unwanted pregnancies.

Now there are a number of ways these changes can be achieved. Educating our people about human sexuality is a big part of it- at www.zeevirtualmedia.com we have books, catalogues and articles that do just that. Making sex products available for purchase is also very important. We are doing that already. Creating a safe and trusting environment under which people can place their orders is also part of it, all of which we have done at www.zeevirtualmedia.com. We have structured the shopping process in such a way that you can place an order for your products wherever you are in Nigeria, and we will deliver to your door step! Now that is shopping made easy! So far, it is working very well. Last but not least is talking about sex. I am sure you agree with me when I say that we do not talk about sex enough in our country- at least not publicly. This has a lot to do with the way we were raised. Our parents never talked about sex (at least not in front of us) neither did they educate us about sex, which was a BIG mistake on their part. Today, generations are being wiped out by AIDS and most marriages are rapidly crumbling, largely because of the education parents never gave. So, part of our agenda at Zee Virtual Media is to get people talking about sex. When people gain comfort in talking about sex, they are able to achieve the following:

1. They gain the courage and ease with which to educate their kids about sex and related issues.
2. They are able to discuss their problems and concerns with people who can help them and they are also able to summon the courage to purchase the products that they need. That way, you don’t have to suffer in silence when you can easily reach out and get helpful information and useful products. At www.zeevirtualmedia.com , we are always available to answer basic questions and offer advice on products that suit your specific needs.
3. Talking about sex related issues gradually demystifies the disease and stigma associated with HIV and AIDS and enables us relate better with people living with the disease or virus.
4. Talking about sex with the right people is one of the fastest ways of educating yourself about sex.

And so on. But for us to achieve the above goals, important questions must first be answered. We know that a lot of people have questions regarding our business. Here are some of the common questions that I have been asked in the past:

a. Why open ‘this kind of business’?
b. Isn’t this sort of business immoral?
c. People like you want to corrupt our world, Don’t you?!
d. Do we need sex products?

These are just a few of the questions that some people have asked us me the past- when they do find the courage to do so. Some of them are great questions while others are just …. stupid. But of course, I will like to answer all of these questions and more because sex education is our priority. So, let’s start with these past questions.

Question number one:
- Why open ‘this kind of business’? Because just as human beings need cell phones, tooth picks and frying pans amongst other things, they also need condoms, lubricants, books, lingerie etc. If we all agree that condoms are essential for all sexually active adults, then someone has to import and sell these products, don’t you think? Is that a problem? Obviously not.

- Question number two:
Isn’t it immoral to do this kind of business? Being Nigerian, I am sure you can understand when I answer this next question with a question of my own. So my answer will be, ‘isn’t what immoral?’ Four months ago when Zee Virtual Media kicked off, we started by advertising through text message broadcasts. This medium was quite effective and people started ordering for products right away. But there were others who had different responses to our adverts. One of such people sent us a text message that said:

Please I keep on getting these messages from you people. I am a pastor’s wife and I find this sort of thing to be unchristian.

When my staff read the text message to me, I could not help but laugh. Initially I wanted to reply pastor’s wife and tell her the following:

Dear pastor’s wife, thank you so much for your feed back. You have sex with your husband (the pastor), don’t you? Of course you do. Is it immoral for you to have sex with your husband? I assume the answer to that is no. Therefore how is it immoral for me to sell you products that will enable you have better and safer sex with your pastor husband? You see, your take on the issue is uninformed and unintelligent, am I wrong? If I sent you a gift from our store consisting of classy Victoria Secret lingerie, you will love it won’t you? I take that as a yes. Is it then immoral to sell lingerie? I assume the answer to that will be an obvious no. So then dear pastor’s wife, what is your point? Oh, I forgot, you don’t have any!

This was the reply that I could have sent her, but I changed my mind. It is cruel and I don’t want to be cruel. We want to inform people about our products and the general nature and relevance of our business without making them feel silly- even if they are indeed very silly. Unfortunately, what people like pastor’s wife do not understand about religion is that no amount of it can replace basic education. If you want to be a civil engineer and instead of studying hard, you spend all of your time praying in church, you will definitely fail your exams. You see what I mean? Religion cannot replace literacy. We need to go to church/ mosque and worship. Absolutely. We also need basic education about all the other issues that affect our lives as well. That is why we sell amazing books and publish free catalogues with educational content at www.zeevirtualmedia.com. That is why I am writing this article.

Question number three:
People like you want to corrupt our world, don’t you?’ An NDLEA official once asked me this question last year when I went to clear some of our goods and pay our duties and all of that. People like me want to corrupt our world? Are you kidding me? Sorry to disappoint you, but our world was corrupt long before I came along! That job is taken. I have got other plans for our world which includes ensuring basic sex education for kids and adults, ensuring the availability of sex products for the benefit of adults and their relationships and aiding sex therapy and sexual safety for all people. Now that is a cool thing to do, isn’t it?

Question number four:
Why do we need this sort of business?’ Question number four does not even deserve an answer because it is downright stupid. It is like asking, ‘Why do we need cell phones? Why do we need fuel? Why do we need electricity? Infact, why do we even need food and clothing and shelter etc.?’ BECAUSE WE NEED THEM! Period!

There is so much to talk about but I will write again in two weeks. Hopefully, the writing will become a regular thing. Until then, if you want to know more about our products, visit www.zeevirtualmedia.com. If you have any comments on the issues discussed, please send your reply to zeevirtualmedia@yahoo.com. Your feed back is necessary. We need to get talking about the sex related issues that affect us so much because human beings are sexual beings and that is OKAY. Nobody has to feel guilty about wanting, having and enjoying sex. It is part of being human. For us to keep our relationships and families together and remain uninfected by all manner of sexually transmitted diseases we need the right information and products.

Uche Edochie
MD/CEO
Zee Virtual Media
01-7735024
08051924159


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